Listening to the desires of my heart is challenging in a world designed by others desires. Yet, as I get older, mature, seek wisdom and begin see GOD in everything, I realize that the one thing that I must do is follow my heart. As the times change and new information emerges to befuddle my brain, the paradigm I created for myself, or that was created for me, begins to change and rearrange into something that I can stomach for me to continue pursuing my dreams. The thing that we must choose is our righteous mind. Do what makes sense to you. Then modify and adjust. Some take baby steps while others risk it all jumping into the unknown. Trust yourself. Then modify and adjust. Mistakes will happen, life will happen, the constant and variable is You. You should know yourself, or make a decision to be the person you choose to be. If you can become the constant, then when life happens, you become better equipped and more prompt to modify and adjust to balance the equation of your life to have the peace you desire and have chosen to pursue.
It is a simple idea yet challenging to take a bird’s eye view or what I like to call a Godly perspective of your life when you are in it. It is not that easy, which is where we get the phrase, hindsight is 20/20. “Life is better understood looking backward, but you can only live it moving forward” (unknown). I was speaking with one of my good friends, Roderick, and the message he was passing to me was, to remain observant even while in the moment. I have few close friends and it’s due to my unfounded narcissistic and elitist tendencies from reading too many Danielle Steel novels, I’m sure, but I am picky about who I allow in my world. Why? Simply because it is my world, it is my safe haven from the inexplicable evils and uncertainties of the so-called real world. I know I am not the only person who does this. It is one of those things I conditioned myself early in life to do to survive my environment. Remember, as new information that conflicts with the previous information that you have determined was false, you most naturally will modify and adjust. Sometimes information can be powerful enough to change your whole world, values, beliefs and actions.
This is why it is so important to choose your friends carefully. I can best explain this using the words of one of my favorite artists, Erykah Badu, from her song Apple Tree, “I picks my friends like I picks my fruit, my ganny told me that when I was only a youth. I don’t walk around trying to be what I’m not, I don’t waste my time trying to get what you got. I work at pleasing me ‘cause I can’t please you and that’s why I do what I do.” Whoever you allow into your world, or your mind, will have an influence on you. You know what I mean. You hear people talk all day every day, but you choose to receive the information. Certain people have a bigger influence in our lives than others. It can be our friends, parents, boy/girl friend, teachers, siblings, etc. It is whoever can get inside your head whether you are conscious of it or not. Some time ago, I was having a conversation with my Patrick about how men pursue, seduce or simply ‘get’ women. His statement is no revelation, but sometimes a better word/description is created to describe an old thing and it makes it relevant again. He said it’s when a man gets a woman to listen to him when he knows he “got” her. Now, I hope your keen powers of observation have served you well as I placed quotations and/or italicized specific words for emphasis. I place emphasis simply because what does it mean to be “got”-ten. As an English teacher, my apologies, I’m conditioned to speak and write correctly to the best of my knowledge. To interpret his statement into what many, I’m sure, have heard before, which means that this woman becomes one of the women in that man’s life. He may not see her regularly, but he provides for her when she’s in need. And she gives him what he needs, which is usually nurturing or reassurance in his manhood because he can provide a need for her. When I state “provide,” it doesn’t necessarily denote money. It can be love, sex, conversation, attention, similar hobbies, etc. When a man can provide a need for a woman that no othr man has, yet, it gives him power, just as providing for the man something he lacks from his other women gives her power. Although polygamy is frowned upon in western culture, a similar thing occurs without the formalities of marriage. These other women become “chicks on the side” “mistresses” “f-buddies” “cut buddies” “shawtys” “hoes” “clean up women” we can call them any name we’d like, but it’s the pink elephant in the room. At least in other cultures, they attempt to make all women “respectable” by offering men the option to marry a woman you would like to have, keep or have gotten through their powers of persuasion in hopes to carry their seed, legacy and empower their manhood. And let’s face it, a manhood that is indirectly governed by women. I’ll make this caveat quickly before I return to my regularly scheduled program, and that is simply, women have the capacity to be smarter and use more percentage of our brain due to our emotional intelligence quotient and by the more important simple fact that men, well most men, love absolutely love pussy or the illusion of it because in our society and others, the number of women a man has at his disposal, beck and call, on his team….lends weight to his manhood. According to my favorite author, Hurston, “ …women are the mules of the earth.” As helpmate, our role is to help man from himself sometimes, which is usually something either directly or indirectly dealing with us [meaning women] and/or his attempts to gain our attention. Most women are natural leaders and workers and will “get things done” quicker and more efficiently. To put it in a different context, man is information and the woman is the operating system. Man inserts his idea(s), and woman nurtures and develops that idea into fruition, almost similar to the conception, development and delivery of a child. Now, let me put this into contemporary terms for my Hip-Hop fans, Beyonce describes man/woman functions in her song "Upgrade U":
I can do for you what Martin did for the people
Ran by the men but the women keep the tempo
It's very seldom that you're blessed to find your equal
Still play my part and let you take the lead role
Believe me
I'll follow [her man] this could be easy
I'll be the help whenever you need me
I see you hustle wit my hustle I
Can keep you
Focused on your focus I can feed you
This is my favorite verse of this song because she finds a hip way to describe the relationship she feels that she desires with her mate. Observe male/female relationships in nature as well as other cultures. Who usually runs the home, educates the children, cooks, cleans and works. In nature, the female spider mates with the male, then she eats him. The queen bee has thousands of male worker bees serve her. The lioness protects and feeds her cubs, she chooses her male mate, not the other way around. The male lion has the long mane of hair framing his face to attract the female lion. There is power and responsibility there. However, some humans choose to have the power without acknowledging any of the responsibility that comes with it. To whom much is given, much is expected [or required].
Woman has been given much power and ability, which means much, is expected or better yet required of woman. This is a major reason women are judged so harshly in society…in almost every culture…because of what man understands even if it is on a basal, unconscious level and that is women have the ability (I stated capacity earlier in this piece) to be smarter, but our emotions can make us stupid. If we could get pass our crazy hormones and emotions and be more logical, then we would have more control of receiving our desires. The major problem is women who fail to understand their power and unknowingly use it to tempt, deceive and beguile others. This is one reason we get the age old biblical and folk stories about woman (pronounced woe man) being the one who brought evil into the world. We have the quintessential Eve in the Holy Bible, Pandora from Greek mythology and I'm sure there are more. Man seems to have the power only because he understands this and has created systems to protect males from females. The feminine behavior can be seen as a dangerous thing if it is not in check. I know most women do not want to think about this, as I didn't, but I must acknowledge its validity, its logic. Whereas, the emotions, hormones and conditioned defensive behavior has already been triggered in woman to be offended, rather than read for logic. We, women, must acknowledge our power and use it for GoOD. If we want to be with a real man, then we have to learn to be real women. When we fail to realize who we are and our functions, it leads to the tug-o-war of feelings in our relationships because we fight for energy, power that we both [male and female] rightly have, but we just don’t understand how to use it. We must use it responsibly.
Some people are blessed in life to find one mate to provide their needs/desires, but some do not. However, the group that does not find it in one person may be in that group because of their choices and decisions. Did you live life on your terms, following your heart and trusting your instincts or someone else’s rules for your life? The goal is to not compete in a world designed to make you compete for jobs, girl/boyfriends, clothes, cars…..things or what I like to refer to as toys. Toys are things you play with to amuse, entertain or distract you. Now, do you use life or does life use you? If you live life and are observant and experiment and modify and adjust as necessary, then you will find all that you seek. Take a stance in living. I had to make that choice. Luckily, I had three older siblings who taught me. I learned from observation and their love. They showed me and I listened. I knew they loved me and had my best interest, so I listened. Well, maybe not so much to my middle sister because she was mean to me. Only when her advice was the precedent or when she revealed her softer side did I listen to her. Even in that example, I only chose to listen to her advice or words when she was nice to me or I had no other information to act upon. We listen to those who we trust or have been in our lives long enough to have an unconscious influence. The unconscious kind can be the worse because you aren’t aware that you are being influenced. It’s difficult to correct an undiagnosed problem, which is why it was important for me to choose my inner circle carefully. Of course we will meet all types of people who will be in our lives for a reason, season, time and purpose unknown to us until it happens. Moreover, it is important to remember that we can choose who receives time with us. Time + Energy= Influence
Once you arise from an ignorant state and begin to know something, you are accountable and must act accordingly. This is your time. Modify and adjust. What if polygamy was acceptable? Would that make the black marriage rate increase? Would that make women happier? What is it we seek, truly seek?Is it Love or honesty? Would you rather your husband/mate be honest with you about their needs/desires or do those things without your knowledge? Would you be okay with some of the Asian/African cultures of being number 1, 2 or 3 wife? Love is a contemporary phenomenon in marriage. Years ago people married for survival, whether that was survival of their lives, lineage, culture, status, etc. If you happened to grow to love that person, then that was a bonus.I make this addendum because I hear the male-female debate so often and as I grow and get older, I realize there is so much gray. I tend to be black and white with my views, but every once in awhile God surprises me with a gray situation and I must choose. I must decide again, what is it that I desire? Do I really want this? Is it worth it? What is its function in my life? What is the sin? The sin is usually the act that cannot be touched. The act of intention in your mind. It is the why? Why are you having an affair? According to the bible, is it because you covet? Covet means "to want somebody else's property": to have a strong desire to POSSESS something that BELONGS to somebody else. Now, if that is "the why" you are acting in that manner then you are committing a sin. I defer to some lyrics from Erykah Badu's song "Booty":
Hey, hey, hey
I don't want him cause of what he doin to you
And you don't need him
Cause he ain't ready
See I don't want him
If he ain't made no arrangement with you
I hope you would've done the same thing for me too
Simply, if you and your mate have problems communicating who I am or who he wants me to be to him, then I don't want him.."cause of what he doin to you" or how he's lying and cheating (cheating is defined by a type of deception, not the act of sex with another). If he's a real man, then he would be upfront with you and make an "arrangement with you." It is because I'm a real woman that I refuse to have an affair with your man and I'd "hope you would've done the same thing for me too." Now, that brings up all types of questions that I won't discuss in this chapter.
Everyone is created differently to desire different things, so we will not have to compete. GOD is so awesome that it is designed that way. Sometimes, it is challenging to listen to your heart in a world created by others. He created the earth, world, atmosphere, animals and humans to be in tune with nature, but we are so far away from that simplicity that who dares to state that they are sure of what the real world looks like. My definition of the real world is what GOD intended, seeking that which man has not touched, which is why I love sky gazing. It is part of the heavens that he cannot constantly dwell or own or control. However when/if man reaches the sun; it will be the death of him, but hopefully man will not reach that end. If we listened and followed our heart where would that lead us? Currently, our mainstream educational systems condition its participants to want certain careers/jobs. The corporations either directly or indirectly influence the school systems because curriculum is geared to teach skills for the current job market. It only makes sense, but that leaves the real educational portion to the family. School is for skills and training. Do not assume/allow for it to serve you or your child beyond those needs. Yet, due to broken homes, addictions, neglect and poverty, the school systems’ function is changing or at least it needs to modify and adjust. They must change either its function or its mission. They cannot do both and be a reputable institution for education. Education should hold the highest honor, but it does not in our society. If worth or value is determined by fiscal compensation, then where would educators be? Shoot, where would your profession be? Again referencing Erykah Badu, “If your knowledge was your worth then it would be well earned.”
So, let me remove myself from “how it ought to be” to “how it is.” There is a big difference, see they are different words. My “if statements” refer to how it ought to be, whereas my present tense statements refer to how it is. We must be careful in our discussion to make the distinction. Right now, things can be seen as “f-cked up” but that’s just how it is or how it was, but how can it be? We must focus on the solution rather than the so called problem. We are the problem and solution to our own problems. We must focus on what we desire rather than the things that make us unhappy. We make choices every day, so choose to be the person you want to be—the best person you can be….the GOD in you. If “heaven is heavy,” and “the devils on me two ton’s too” (L. Fiasco) then choose the GoOD in yourself. If doing either good or evil is equal in weight and have their crosses to bear, whether now or in the afterlife, why not choose the one that will help others, make you feel GoOD about yourself and life? GOD and satan both work equally hard to get your attention, but the question is who has your attention most of the time…because where attention goes, energy flows and that in itself lies your problem and solution. Even if you have the greatest of intentions, if it isn’t meant for you, just observe the signs and your life. Remembering the advice of my friend Roderick, observe your life while living in the moment. And yes, it’s difficult trying to be judicious in my decision-making while living and taking risks on life and love and career. Yet, the seed has been planted and I can only do the best I can and be the best person I can be, naturally, how I was created to be. And yes, I make mistakes, but I get right back up because if you get on that horse you gotta ride it.
Power for me came in accepting my decisions...being accountable. Yes, I did it, and yes, I understand that I broke the rule,okay, I'm ready for my punishment? Yet, it is important to pick your battles, and to know the consequences for your actions. Ghandi and King understood the consequences to their acts of civil disobedience. They prepared for it, but sometimes, you never really know the effects of your actions. It is important to think before you act. My niece, Nicole, is my favorite example of this, but I pray for her to discover and love Wisdom and tolerance to match her fearlessness towards punishment. At her school the children were taking turns riding the bicycle during playtime. When it became Nicole's turn to ride the bicycle, she didn't want to stop. As any good highly qualified teacher would do, she gave Nicole her options: A) to return to where the other children were coloring and drawing or B) go sit in time out until the end of playtime.As the story was reported to me, Nicole looked in either direction, stood and walked towards time-out. This story has become infamous only because how the teacher told the story to my brother. She was shocked that a child would choose time-out. Well, I guess she didn't quite know Nicole like she thought. Well, I guess its just knowing WHO you are and WHOSE you are that makes the difference in a person’s attitude. Her consequences weren't so bad, but I wonder she will navigate life as those choices become more challenging. So right now, I’m reflecting, meditating, praying, and debriefing my thoughts, which is why I have to write. I don’t write down nearly half the things that my mind dwells on daily. I think that is why I tend to be so verbose. I hold it in until my stomach or head aches, and that happens when I haven’t written in a long time. It’s almost like mental or emotional indigestion…what’s on my mind just gotta come out! Furthermore, I feel it is important for everyone to have an outlet, whether it’s jogging, playing a sport, dancing, writing, knitting, making pottery or something that allows you to release negative energy.
It is good to have GoOD people around you. I was always advised to surround myself with people smarter than myself. Why surround yourself with ignorant or stupid people for extended periods of time? Where attention goes, energy flows. If I give them my time, they will soon have my mind. Similar to a job, career or even school, who or whatever controls your mind for an extended amount of time and is getting your energy has a great influence of your thoughts and actions. Some jobs are so consuming that your personal life, including but not limited to family, friends, hobbies, etc., goes unchecked for weeks, months even years, yet we wonder why our lives are unfulfilling or unhappy. We must focus on the things/people we desire to have in our lives for our divine purpose. That divine purpose is your function or apart of your many functions, which is to help others and glorify GOD and his works. However, the problem becomes remaining connected to that GOD power, so you are able to work within your divine purpose. Remember, the devil has all types of good distractions. A church can be a distraction if its leadership isn’t connected to GOD. A family member can be a distraction if you aren’t connected to GOD. So, how do you know what to do? Trust yourself. Do what makes sense to you, which is what Thoreau refers to as our “righteous mind.” It is the place where the GOD in you dwells to keep you in your journey of your divine purpose. It is strong when we are young and pure, unscathed to the evils of this world, but as we get older we are trained or conditioned by family, school, media, etc. to mirror our behaviors to those of this world in order to survive, the same world that the bible cautions us to be observant. Yet, lacking a suitable alternative we consume the unclean water because we are thirsty. And I, too, was thirsty, but everyone’s odometer is different. Whereas many would continue to drink and become sick, there are many like me that said, this is making me sick. This new information leads me to question because I don’t understand it. Why am I sick? What can I do to change this situation? How can I be better than I am? What do I need to modify and adjust in my life? Only you know the antidote to your ailment. It all starts with listening to your body, asking yourself questions, trusting your instincts, not your fear, but your instincts and following your heart….
It is a simple idea yet challenging to take a bird’s eye view or what I like to call a Godly perspective of your life when you are in it. It is not that easy, which is where we get the phrase, hindsight is 20/20. “Life is better understood looking backward, but you can only live it moving forward” (unknown). I was speaking with one of my good friends, Roderick, and the message he was passing to me was, to remain observant even while in the moment. I have few close friends and it’s due to my unfounded narcissistic and elitist tendencies from reading too many Danielle Steel novels, I’m sure, but I am picky about who I allow in my world. Why? Simply because it is my world, it is my safe haven from the inexplicable evils and uncertainties of the so-called real world. I know I am not the only person who does this. It is one of those things I conditioned myself early in life to do to survive my environment. Remember, as new information that conflicts with the previous information that you have determined was false, you most naturally will modify and adjust. Sometimes information can be powerful enough to change your whole world, values, beliefs and actions.
This is why it is so important to choose your friends carefully. I can best explain this using the words of one of my favorite artists, Erykah Badu, from her song Apple Tree, “I picks my friends like I picks my fruit, my ganny told me that when I was only a youth. I don’t walk around trying to be what I’m not, I don’t waste my time trying to get what you got. I work at pleasing me ‘cause I can’t please you and that’s why I do what I do.” Whoever you allow into your world, or your mind, will have an influence on you. You know what I mean. You hear people talk all day every day, but you choose to receive the information. Certain people have a bigger influence in our lives than others. It can be our friends, parents, boy/girl friend, teachers, siblings, etc. It is whoever can get inside your head whether you are conscious of it or not. Some time ago, I was having a conversation with my Patrick about how men pursue, seduce or simply ‘get’ women. His statement is no revelation, but sometimes a better word/description is created to describe an old thing and it makes it relevant again. He said it’s when a man gets a woman to listen to him when he knows he “got” her. Now, I hope your keen powers of observation have served you well as I placed quotations and/or italicized specific words for emphasis. I place emphasis simply because what does it mean to be “got”-ten. As an English teacher, my apologies, I’m conditioned to speak and write correctly to the best of my knowledge. To interpret his statement into what many, I’m sure, have heard before, which means that this woman becomes one of the women in that man’s life. He may not see her regularly, but he provides for her when she’s in need. And she gives him what he needs, which is usually nurturing or reassurance in his manhood because he can provide a need for her. When I state “provide,” it doesn’t necessarily denote money. It can be love, sex, conversation, attention, similar hobbies, etc. When a man can provide a need for a woman that no othr man has, yet, it gives him power, just as providing for the man something he lacks from his other women gives her power. Although polygamy is frowned upon in western culture, a similar thing occurs without the formalities of marriage. These other women become “chicks on the side” “mistresses” “f-buddies” “cut buddies” “shawtys” “hoes” “clean up women” we can call them any name we’d like, but it’s the pink elephant in the room. At least in other cultures, they attempt to make all women “respectable” by offering men the option to marry a woman you would like to have, keep or have gotten through their powers of persuasion in hopes to carry their seed, legacy and empower their manhood. And let’s face it, a manhood that is indirectly governed by women. I’ll make this caveat quickly before I return to my regularly scheduled program, and that is simply, women have the capacity to be smarter and use more percentage of our brain due to our emotional intelligence quotient and by the more important simple fact that men, well most men, love absolutely love pussy or the illusion of it because in our society and others, the number of women a man has at his disposal, beck and call, on his team….lends weight to his manhood. According to my favorite author, Hurston, “ …women are the mules of the earth.” As helpmate, our role is to help man from himself sometimes, which is usually something either directly or indirectly dealing with us [meaning women] and/or his attempts to gain our attention. Most women are natural leaders and workers and will “get things done” quicker and more efficiently. To put it in a different context, man is information and the woman is the operating system. Man inserts his idea(s), and woman nurtures and develops that idea into fruition, almost similar to the conception, development and delivery of a child. Now, let me put this into contemporary terms for my Hip-Hop fans, Beyonce describes man/woman functions in her song "Upgrade U":
I can do for you what Martin did for the people
Ran by the men but the women keep the tempo
It's very seldom that you're blessed to find your equal
Still play my part and let you take the lead role
Believe me
I'll follow [her man] this could be easy
I'll be the help whenever you need me
I see you hustle wit my hustle I
Can keep you
Focused on your focus I can feed you
This is my favorite verse of this song because she finds a hip way to describe the relationship she feels that she desires with her mate. Observe male/female relationships in nature as well as other cultures. Who usually runs the home, educates the children, cooks, cleans and works. In nature, the female spider mates with the male, then she eats him. The queen bee has thousands of male worker bees serve her. The lioness protects and feeds her cubs, she chooses her male mate, not the other way around. The male lion has the long mane of hair framing his face to attract the female lion. There is power and responsibility there. However, some humans choose to have the power without acknowledging any of the responsibility that comes with it. To whom much is given, much is expected [or required].
Woman has been given much power and ability, which means much, is expected or better yet required of woman. This is a major reason women are judged so harshly in society…in almost every culture…because of what man understands even if it is on a basal, unconscious level and that is women have the ability (I stated capacity earlier in this piece) to be smarter, but our emotions can make us stupid. If we could get pass our crazy hormones and emotions and be more logical, then we would have more control of receiving our desires. The major problem is women who fail to understand their power and unknowingly use it to tempt, deceive and beguile others. This is one reason we get the age old biblical and folk stories about woman (pronounced woe man) being the one who brought evil into the world. We have the quintessential Eve in the Holy Bible, Pandora from Greek mythology and I'm sure there are more. Man seems to have the power only because he understands this and has created systems to protect males from females. The feminine behavior can be seen as a dangerous thing if it is not in check. I know most women do not want to think about this, as I didn't, but I must acknowledge its validity, its logic. Whereas, the emotions, hormones and conditioned defensive behavior has already been triggered in woman to be offended, rather than read for logic. We, women, must acknowledge our power and use it for GoOD. If we want to be with a real man, then we have to learn to be real women. When we fail to realize who we are and our functions, it leads to the tug-o-war of feelings in our relationships because we fight for energy, power that we both [male and female] rightly have, but we just don’t understand how to use it. We must use it responsibly.
Some people are blessed in life to find one mate to provide their needs/desires, but some do not. However, the group that does not find it in one person may be in that group because of their choices and decisions. Did you live life on your terms, following your heart and trusting your instincts or someone else’s rules for your life? The goal is to not compete in a world designed to make you compete for jobs, girl/boyfriends, clothes, cars…..things or what I like to refer to as toys. Toys are things you play with to amuse, entertain or distract you. Now, do you use life or does life use you? If you live life and are observant and experiment and modify and adjust as necessary, then you will find all that you seek. Take a stance in living. I had to make that choice. Luckily, I had three older siblings who taught me. I learned from observation and their love. They showed me and I listened. I knew they loved me and had my best interest, so I listened. Well, maybe not so much to my middle sister because she was mean to me. Only when her advice was the precedent or when she revealed her softer side did I listen to her. Even in that example, I only chose to listen to her advice or words when she was nice to me or I had no other information to act upon. We listen to those who we trust or have been in our lives long enough to have an unconscious influence. The unconscious kind can be the worse because you aren’t aware that you are being influenced. It’s difficult to correct an undiagnosed problem, which is why it was important for me to choose my inner circle carefully. Of course we will meet all types of people who will be in our lives for a reason, season, time and purpose unknown to us until it happens. Moreover, it is important to remember that we can choose who receives time with us. Time + Energy= Influence
Once you arise from an ignorant state and begin to know something, you are accountable and must act accordingly. This is your time. Modify and adjust. What if polygamy was acceptable? Would that make the black marriage rate increase? Would that make women happier? What is it we seek, truly seek?Is it Love or honesty? Would you rather your husband/mate be honest with you about their needs/desires or do those things without your knowledge? Would you be okay with some of the Asian/African cultures of being number 1, 2 or 3 wife? Love is a contemporary phenomenon in marriage. Years ago people married for survival, whether that was survival of their lives, lineage, culture, status, etc. If you happened to grow to love that person, then that was a bonus.I make this addendum because I hear the male-female debate so often and as I grow and get older, I realize there is so much gray. I tend to be black and white with my views, but every once in awhile God surprises me with a gray situation and I must choose. I must decide again, what is it that I desire? Do I really want this? Is it worth it? What is its function in my life? What is the sin? The sin is usually the act that cannot be touched. The act of intention in your mind. It is the why? Why are you having an affair? According to the bible, is it because you covet? Covet means "to want somebody else's property": to have a strong desire to POSSESS something that BELONGS to somebody else. Now, if that is "the why" you are acting in that manner then you are committing a sin. I defer to some lyrics from Erykah Badu's song "Booty":
Hey, hey, hey
I don't want him cause of what he doin to you
And you don't need him
Cause he ain't ready
See I don't want him
If he ain't made no arrangement with you
I hope you would've done the same thing for me too
Simply, if you and your mate have problems communicating who I am or who he wants me to be to him, then I don't want him.."cause of what he doin to you" or how he's lying and cheating (cheating is defined by a type of deception, not the act of sex with another). If he's a real man, then he would be upfront with you and make an "arrangement with you." It is because I'm a real woman that I refuse to have an affair with your man and I'd "hope you would've done the same thing for me too." Now, that brings up all types of questions that I won't discuss in this chapter.
Everyone is created differently to desire different things, so we will not have to compete. GOD is so awesome that it is designed that way. Sometimes, it is challenging to listen to your heart in a world created by others. He created the earth, world, atmosphere, animals and humans to be in tune with nature, but we are so far away from that simplicity that who dares to state that they are sure of what the real world looks like. My definition of the real world is what GOD intended, seeking that which man has not touched, which is why I love sky gazing. It is part of the heavens that he cannot constantly dwell or own or control. However when/if man reaches the sun; it will be the death of him, but hopefully man will not reach that end. If we listened and followed our heart where would that lead us? Currently, our mainstream educational systems condition its participants to want certain careers/jobs. The corporations either directly or indirectly influence the school systems because curriculum is geared to teach skills for the current job market. It only makes sense, but that leaves the real educational portion to the family. School is for skills and training. Do not assume/allow for it to serve you or your child beyond those needs. Yet, due to broken homes, addictions, neglect and poverty, the school systems’ function is changing or at least it needs to modify and adjust. They must change either its function or its mission. They cannot do both and be a reputable institution for education. Education should hold the highest honor, but it does not in our society. If worth or value is determined by fiscal compensation, then where would educators be? Shoot, where would your profession be? Again referencing Erykah Badu, “If your knowledge was your worth then it would be well earned.”
So, let me remove myself from “how it ought to be” to “how it is.” There is a big difference, see they are different words. My “if statements” refer to how it ought to be, whereas my present tense statements refer to how it is. We must be careful in our discussion to make the distinction. Right now, things can be seen as “f-cked up” but that’s just how it is or how it was, but how can it be? We must focus on the solution rather than the so called problem. We are the problem and solution to our own problems. We must focus on what we desire rather than the things that make us unhappy. We make choices every day, so choose to be the person you want to be—the best person you can be….the GOD in you. If “heaven is heavy,” and “the devils on me two ton’s too” (L. Fiasco) then choose the GoOD in yourself. If doing either good or evil is equal in weight and have their crosses to bear, whether now or in the afterlife, why not choose the one that will help others, make you feel GoOD about yourself and life? GOD and satan both work equally hard to get your attention, but the question is who has your attention most of the time…because where attention goes, energy flows and that in itself lies your problem and solution. Even if you have the greatest of intentions, if it isn’t meant for you, just observe the signs and your life. Remembering the advice of my friend Roderick, observe your life while living in the moment. And yes, it’s difficult trying to be judicious in my decision-making while living and taking risks on life and love and career. Yet, the seed has been planted and I can only do the best I can and be the best person I can be, naturally, how I was created to be. And yes, I make mistakes, but I get right back up because if you get on that horse you gotta ride it.
Power for me came in accepting my decisions...being accountable. Yes, I did it, and yes, I understand that I broke the rule,okay, I'm ready for my punishment? Yet, it is important to pick your battles, and to know the consequences for your actions. Ghandi and King understood the consequences to their acts of civil disobedience. They prepared for it, but sometimes, you never really know the effects of your actions. It is important to think before you act. My niece, Nicole, is my favorite example of this, but I pray for her to discover and love Wisdom and tolerance to match her fearlessness towards punishment. At her school the children were taking turns riding the bicycle during playtime. When it became Nicole's turn to ride the bicycle, she didn't want to stop. As any good highly qualified teacher would do, she gave Nicole her options: A) to return to where the other children were coloring and drawing or B) go sit in time out until the end of playtime.As the story was reported to me, Nicole looked in either direction, stood and walked towards time-out. This story has become infamous only because how the teacher told the story to my brother. She was shocked that a child would choose time-out. Well, I guess she didn't quite know Nicole like she thought. Well, I guess its just knowing WHO you are and WHOSE you are that makes the difference in a person’s attitude. Her consequences weren't so bad, but I wonder she will navigate life as those choices become more challenging. So right now, I’m reflecting, meditating, praying, and debriefing my thoughts, which is why I have to write. I don’t write down nearly half the things that my mind dwells on daily. I think that is why I tend to be so verbose. I hold it in until my stomach or head aches, and that happens when I haven’t written in a long time. It’s almost like mental or emotional indigestion…what’s on my mind just gotta come out! Furthermore, I feel it is important for everyone to have an outlet, whether it’s jogging, playing a sport, dancing, writing, knitting, making pottery or something that allows you to release negative energy.
It is good to have GoOD people around you. I was always advised to surround myself with people smarter than myself. Why surround yourself with ignorant or stupid people for extended periods of time? Where attention goes, energy flows. If I give them my time, they will soon have my mind. Similar to a job, career or even school, who or whatever controls your mind for an extended amount of time and is getting your energy has a great influence of your thoughts and actions. Some jobs are so consuming that your personal life, including but not limited to family, friends, hobbies, etc., goes unchecked for weeks, months even years, yet we wonder why our lives are unfulfilling or unhappy. We must focus on the things/people we desire to have in our lives for our divine purpose. That divine purpose is your function or apart of your many functions, which is to help others and glorify GOD and his works. However, the problem becomes remaining connected to that GOD power, so you are able to work within your divine purpose. Remember, the devil has all types of good distractions. A church can be a distraction if its leadership isn’t connected to GOD. A family member can be a distraction if you aren’t connected to GOD. So, how do you know what to do? Trust yourself. Do what makes sense to you, which is what Thoreau refers to as our “righteous mind.” It is the place where the GOD in you dwells to keep you in your journey of your divine purpose. It is strong when we are young and pure, unscathed to the evils of this world, but as we get older we are trained or conditioned by family, school, media, etc. to mirror our behaviors to those of this world in order to survive, the same world that the bible cautions us to be observant. Yet, lacking a suitable alternative we consume the unclean water because we are thirsty. And I, too, was thirsty, but everyone’s odometer is different. Whereas many would continue to drink and become sick, there are many like me that said, this is making me sick. This new information leads me to question because I don’t understand it. Why am I sick? What can I do to change this situation? How can I be better than I am? What do I need to modify and adjust in my life? Only you know the antidote to your ailment. It all starts with listening to your body, asking yourself questions, trusting your instincts, not your fear, but your instincts and following your heart….
